Prayer Prompt #22: My Highest Priority

A tearful child collapsed and clung to me. We took inventory: Was anything wrong? Did he feel sick? Was he disappointed? Was he sad? No, none of these - he just wanted more focused time with me, and at his age tears are the only way he knows to communicate this need.

We and our children are not that different: we both need focused time with a loving parent.  Not just when we are sad, disappointed, going through a trial, battling illness, feeling lonely, etc.  But all the time, regularly, just because we are in relationship and need to be filled up with love.

I’ve noticed that my children seem happier and more cooperative when they have this focused time to be loved by me.  And, I’ve noticed that I am happier and more Christ-like when I have this focused time in the loving presence of my Heavenly Father.  God has this amazing quality of rubbing off on people that spend time with Him!

It’s oh-so-easy to skip this one-on-one time with God.  The demands of life are real and the pressures to do more and be more keep increasing.  The relentless ticking of the clock often reminds me of how many things are left undone rather than done. But none of that changes my need for this time alone with God.

Moms . . . let’s double up our efforts to protect these precious times with our Heavenly Father.

Dear LORD, in a world where busyness reigns please help me aggressively guard the time I spend with You. Make it my highest priority and the one thing I can’t live without. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Prayer Prompt #21: Praying Scripture for Your Children -- Psalm 78

O my people, listen to my instructions.

   Open your ears to what I am saying,

for I will speak to you in a parable.

I will teach you hidden lessons from our past—

    stories we have heard and known,

   stories our ancestors handed down to us.

We will not hide these truths from our children;

   we will tell the next generation

about the glorious deeds of the Lord,

   about his power and his mighty wonders.

For he issued his laws to Jacob;

   he gave his instructions to Israel.

He commanded our ancestors

   to teach them to their children,

so the next generation might know them—

   even the children not yet born—

   and they in turn will teach their own children.

So each generation should set its hope anew on God,

   not forgetting his glorious miracles

   and obeying his commands.

Then they will not be like their ancestors—

   stubborn, rebellious, and unfaithful,

   refusing to give their hearts to God.

Psalm 78:1-8

I love how this passage shows that God's heart for the individual is to weave him/her into His bigger story. An individual's faith, though personal, becomes connected to a much larger picture that brings in generation after generation. Faith becomes a family affair as the telling of testimony links one generation to the next. The chain grows, the legacy lengthens, God's family extends from “even the children not yet born” back to great great great grandparents.

You and I might occupy different places on this family tree of faith. Maybe Christ has been Lord in your family for generations, but in my family faith has just started with me. No matter where we fit into the bigger picture, we can both commit today to being the parents this passage tells about - parents that will teach their children about God and propagate the chain of faith.

Dear LORD, make me a mother that will tell my children and their generation about Your glorious deeds. May I never hide truth, by omission or lack of boldness, but rather speak often of Your power and mighty wonders. Starting even with me, may the generations that follow each choose to set their hope completely on God. Build a family of faith that will obey Your commands and never forget Your glorious miracles. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Prayer Prompt #20: My Mother's Day Wish List

We celebrated Mother’s Day yesterday and out of curiosity I looked up the most popular Mother’s Day gift ideas. What a surprise! They ran the gamut from fashion to home maintenance, from sentimental to practical.  

There were some nice things on those lists for mothers.  But lately I find that most things on my own wish list are really not just for me, but for my family’s benefit too. So as I sat and wondered what I’d really want for Mother’s Day, my list looked more like this:

• Greater patience when my agenda is interrupted
• More grace when those around me fail
• Love that is unlinked to expectations
• Mercy to remember my own shortcomings even as I notice the shortcomings of others
• A joyful heart regardless of disappointments and difficulties

These kinds of gifts can’t be wrapped up in a box; instead, they are poured down from heaven.  

What about you, what’s on your motherhood wish list? God is a generous giver with an endless supply, so let’s come to Him together to present our requests and expect to receive.

Dear Jesus, You blessed me when You made me a mother, and I thank You so much for that.  But I see my own shortcomings and their impact on my family clearly, so this Mother’s Day I’m asking You to continue your refinement of my character and continue pouring the loving qualities of Christ into me. I know both I and my family will be blessed as Christ is formed in me more and more.  Thank you that this is Your heart for all of Your children: to be conformed to the likeness of your Son, so I can have confidence in Your provision for me. In Jesus’ name, amen.

(see Galatians 4:19 and Romans 8:29)

A (Real) Mother's Day

Ah, Mother’s Day!  How I love waking up to breakfast in bed: a free range egg omelet, buttered toast, freshly squeezed orange juice, and a bud vase showcasing a perfect single rose. My husband and children greet me at the bedroom door dressed in church clothes with hair combed and teeth brushed. We travel cheerfully to church and my children sit still and quiet as we enjoy the service together. Afterwards they treat me to brunch, an afternoon at the spa, and when I come home there are no dishes in sink and the house is tidy.

Wait, what? You mean, your Mother’s Day wasn’t like that? Oh, right. Me neither. THIS was my real Mother’s Day…

With a toddler and a newborn, I was quite happy to have an ordinary morning of diapering, changing clothes, eating breakfast together and getting to church on time (okay….close to on time) without any mishaps.  We sat in our usual spot near the family room and when baby cried to be fed I took him into the family room to nurse, as usual. Simple decision, right?

Wrong.

That was way too much to handle for the new older sibling who needed more time to adjust to such an “abandonment” (yes I realized that….too late!) and my departure triggered the longest, loudest, most alarming, most shocking, most embarrassing screams I have ever heard leave the mouth of a child. As in, I didn’t even know that he could make that much noise. Days afterwards, others in the same church service sitting on a different floor (!) said to me: “that was your family??” - so yes, everyone heard it.  It was completely disruptive, and nothing - I mean nothing - was calming this child down!

Of course by this time, baby is crying too (and I wanted to join him!) so we did what any desperate parents would do: we made a run for it.  Seriously. Imagine me with one child under each arm bolting down the staircase and out the door without stopping until we got in the car, husband loaded with diaper bags close behind.

No rose-colored glasses here, this was “Mother’s Day, Uncensored”.  Or maybe, and more appropriately, “A (Real) Mother’s Day”.

The truth is that we moms don’t really get holidays.  Yes, we are celebrated and loved, but we don’t ever really get a break from being a mother. Our children still need us, and we are hardwired from pregnancy to want to meet their needs. Same goes for sick days. Or vacation days.  Being a mother is 24/7, for the rest of your life.

It’s a beautiful bondage that I wouldn’t trade for a day off. Even in the messiest moments.

That Mother’s Day, the greatest gift was not a peaceful afternoon or a nice meal out, it was the camaraderie of two other moms (and one didn’t even know me!) that came to my aid in that messy moment at church. These two were like angels to me that day -- while my husband and I were frantically trying to calm our children and not feel completely mortified, they scoured the area where we’d been sitting, packed up the diaper bag, the baby carrier, the toddler toy, etc., etc., etc. They loaded up my husband with bags (because I already had the two screaming children) and sent us off with empathy, zero judgment and prayer as we made our exit. They followed up with me later in the day and reassured me that every mother has moments like that and I was not crazy, not alone, and not a bad mother.

I’m glad to report that once we got back home our life and our children went back to normal (as normal as we can be - ha!). I’m also glad to report that eventually everyone adjusted to being a family of four.

But I always remembered those two kind moms and how they rescued me. Friends, that support was so much sweeter than anything that could be wrapped in a box.

So this Mother’s Day, I am celebrating all of YOU -- the other moms out there that have been there, who get it, and who come alongside each other as we all walk this beautiful messy journey of raising children.

Happy Mother’s Day!  

Prayer Prompt #19: Praying Scripture for Your Children - Psalm 71

I don’t have anything to add to this -- the Word of God is enough!

O Lord, you alone are my hope.
   I’ve trusted you, O Lord, from childhood.
Yes, you have been with me from birth;
   from my mother’s womb you have cared for me.
   No wonder I am always praising you!
My life is an example to many,
   because you have been my strength and protection.
That is why I can never stop praising you;
   I declare your glory all day long.
O God, you have taught me from my earliest childhood,
   and I constantly tell others about the wonderful things you do.
Psalm 71:5-8, 17 NLT

Oh LORD, this is my prayer for my children! May they trust You from their youth, may they grow up knowing and experiencing Your loving kindness, Your tender mercies, Your powerful faithfulness. May they know it so fully that it drives them to constant praise, that they cannot help but speak of Your glorious testimonies! Make them witnesses of who You are, lights shining in a dark generation, that will draw others into Your family. In Jesus’ name, amen.

A Christian's White Flag of Surrender

Surrender.  One word, different meanings. In wartime, a party’s surrender is an admission of defeat by its enemy.  But for a Christian, surrender to the will of God is the path to victory.

How does this work? I’ll share a personal example, but first we’ll start with Job - that guy from the Old Testament that loves and walks with God and was blessed with great wealth and a big family.  But then, virtually all at once, all of that is taken away and Job is left with almost nothing (just his life and his wife - and not that these are insignificant!, but, you know, he did just lose all ten children, all his wealth and his health) but time to ponder why all this suffering happened to him.

Job does something amazing right from the start, just after all the tragedy: he declares that God is worthy to be praised. “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away: may the name of the Lord be praised.” (Job 1:20)

But that declaration of faith doesn’t mean that Job was immune to pain and suffering -- not at all! On the contrary, Job is painfully honest about his grief and confusion in the midst of tragedy and says things like this (my paraphrase):

* If this is how my life would end up, why was I even born? (see Job 3:11-13)

* This is my worst nightmare. (see Job 3:25-26)

* God, why did You allow this? I’m so confused, but You are God and the only one I can turn to.  (see Job 13:15, 23-24)

* It feels like God is against me. I’ve served Him all these years, yet He’s turned His back on me. (see Job 19:7-11, 30:16-23))

* How come everyone else’s life is chugging along smoothly while I have heaps of trouble? Why me? (see Job 21:7-18)

Job is saying, “I love God and have sought to honor Him. I don’t understand what’s going on here!” If you’ve walked through suffering, this probably resonates. We love Job’s honesty because we’ve been there too! These are real thoughts and emotions in troublesome times.  They don’t nullify our faith, but they do challenge it.

In a recent season of trials, my prayers reflected a similar confusion:  “Lord, I have loved You and walked with You. I have sought to honor You.  I have obeyed You in really hard places. And now this?”  

God doesn’t leave Job hanging - he "answer[s] Job from the whirlwind” (Job 38:1) - which is so appropriate, by the way, since I bet Job’s thoughts and emotions sure felt like a whirlwind at this point! Job 38-41 records God reminding Job of all the amazing things He has done and still does that exceed our ability to comprehend: “Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth? . . . Have you ever commanded the morning to appear and caused the dawn to rise in the east? . . . Are you as strong as God?” (Job 38:4, 12; 40:9). In essence, God is saying, “Job, there are so many things about Me that surpass your ability to comprehend or control. Why are you questioning my sovereignty?”

God is telling Job that His ways are higher than ours (see Isaiah 55:8-9) and we don’t/won’t always understand. But that’s okay because sometimes we don’t need to understand, we only need to trust.

Wow, I get this....when I cried to God, “why did it have to be this way?” His immediate response was, “Otherwise you would not have learned to trust Me.”  Yes, His ways are higher. His goal was not my comfort but my faith.

Job’s response to God’s explanation is surrender. “You asked, ‘Who is this that questions my [God’s] wisdom with such ignorance?’ It is I [Job] - and I was talking about things I knew nothing about, things far too wonderful for me. . . . I take back everything I said, and I sit in dust and ashes to show my repentance.” (Job 42:3, 6) Job was saying, “You’re right, God.  I can’t rationalize what has happened because my own thinking is so limited compared to Yours. You do things more magnificent than I can even imagine. I still don’t get it, but I am choosing to surrender to Your will even when I don’t understand it.”

Surrender is not defeat.  It is trust. Bold, reckless trust in God as we throw all our hope onto Him.

By God’s grace, I got to this point too.  I saw that His chiefest goal for me was not my comfort but my heart, and He would do whatever it took to draw my heart into closer communion with Him -- even if it took hardship.  On my knees and through tears, I whispered some scary words, “Do what You have to do. Take it all if You have to.”

But instead of those words being met with a sense of foreboding, they were met with a stronger feeling that, no matter what, my life was firmly held in the loving arms of my Heavenly Father.  

And then, a marvelous sense of freedom came. Freedom from the burden of trying to figure out why things had gone wrong and how to fix it. Not freedom from pain or grief (because nothing had changed), but freedom to declare God’s goodness no matter what life looks like. Freedom to not have my faith bound by circumstances but to instead keep on believing, keep on trusting that He is faithful, true, merciful, loving.  “Because Your lovingkindness is better than life, my lips will praise You.” (Psalm 63:3).

A beautiful spirit of worship was released in our home - starting with me, and pouring over to the others. I leapt and sang and rejoiced with a full heart (remember, the circumstances had not changed!). Our oldest toddler was belting out praise and even the youngest, not yet verbal, was doing laps around the living room with both arms raised, fingers pointing heavenward.

The joy and freedom and peace that was poured out into me was so much stronger than the pain and grief I felt - it was supernatural. “For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” (2 Corinthians 4:17-18)

As I look back over my years of walking with Christ, I can honestly say that my most precious moments with God are not the times when He gave the answer to prayer I’d hoped for or when I’d received the clarity of His guidance -- rather, they were when I was able to sing, “ALL to Jesus I surrender” and really mean it.  And I promise you - those moments were always in the messy seasons of life.

Oh friends . . . He is good!

But let us now turn back to Job, and see how his story ends.

After all the suffering, God heaped blessings upon Job again: “the Lord restored his fortunes. In fact, the Lord gave him twice as much as before!” (Job 42:10)  His brothers, sisters and friends came to comfort and console him, then to feast with him. He even had ten more children. (Job 42:11, 13) “So the Lord blessed Job in the second half of his life even more than in the beginning.” (Job 42:12) Wow! We don’t know from the beginning what God will do in the end, but we do know that He is always trustworthy. “You have allowed me to suffer much hardship, but you will restore me to life again and lift me up from the depths of the earth.  You will restore me to even greater honor and comfort me once again.” Psalm 71:20-21

There are so many ways that God blessed Job, but my guess is that the biggest blessing of all was Job’s increased intimacy with the God he loved.  As Job puts it, “I had only heard about you before, but now I have seen you with my own eyes.” (Job 42:5)

And those of us who have walked with the Lord, we know - there really is nothing better than that.