Praying for Your Children

This post is based on the message Praying for Your Children that I gave at the Joshua Prayer Group’s “Be the Man, Be the Woman” Conference on June 15, 2019. 

I have the incredible privilege of being the mother of three amazing little boys. And though the oldest is only about 3 feet tall, I’ve already learned something very important . . . I can’t control him.

Sure, I can set parameters. I can enforce consequences. I can try to teach and influence him -- but, ultimately, I can’t control my child’s heart. And a child’s heart is a critically important place because it sets the pattern of his or her life and behavior.  Proverbs 4:23 instructs us to “guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.”

Even though I can’t control my child’s heart, I am so thankful that God’s business is changing hearts -- so I’ve learned that the best leverage I have with my children is to pray, putting them in God’s hands so He can work in their hearts.

Why & What to Pray

Consider the Bible your parenting prayer book: it was written by a parent (because God is Father and He calls people His children) with the absolute best hopes and dreams and promises for His children. So when we pray, we can use His words, take His promises - and make them our own. We don’t say these words from the Bible simply as a recitation though; we say them in faith, remembering that faith is simply agreeing with God’s Word, the Bible (an example Scripture-based prayer is included at the end of this post). 

The Bible has so many beautiful thoughts and promises for our children! These are just a tiny sampling: 

* I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread. They are always generous and lend freely; their children will be a blessing. (Psalm 37:25-26)

* Blessed are those who fear the Lord, who find great delight in his commands. Their children will be mighty in the land; the generation of the upright will be blessed. (Psalm 112:1‭-‬2)

* Through the praise of children and infants you have established a stronghold against your enemies, to silence the foe and the avenger. (Psalm 8:2)

* I will pour out My Spirit on your descendants, and my blessing shall be on your offspring. (Isaiah 44:3)

Pray what your child will become, not just what he is today

Maybe you’re thinking, “it seems like my son/daughter is so far from those things that I can’t even pray it”.  But don’t let where your children are today discourage you, and DON’T let it stop you! Because prayer is not about what your children are now, but about what God intends them to become. 

When we pray God’s Word for our children, we choose to share His perspective on our child and pray for what he is becoming rather than doom him to stay as he is today.

Don’t grow discouraged if you don’t see overnight changes; be patient, be persistent. And be prayerful: make prayer a primary part of your parenting.  Prayer is a continuous labor. Train yourself to pray in the moment too, as issues arise or cross your mind. Train yourself to pray preventative and protective prayers - you will never know how much hardship your child was spared because of your prayers!

Speak words of faith consistent with your prayers into your child’s life

One other practice goes hand in hand with your prayers, and that is the words you speak to them. 

Your words to your children and about them should be consistent with your prayers. Proverbs 23:7 tells us that as a person thinks in his heart, so is he. That means if you tell your child that he is lazy, he will think he is lazy, and he will become lazy. If you tell your daughter that you are disappointed in her, she will think she is a disappointment and she will become disappointing.  

Proverbs 18:21 tells us that the tongue has the power of life and death.  With my words, I can give life to my child’s defeated soul. Or, with my words, I can wound my child’s sensitive spirit. As mothers, we should use our words to call forth what our children will become. We should use our words to draw out the godly character that our children are called to embody.  

I recently stepped into the bathroom to find that one of my children (who loves art projects) had painted the toilet seat with my bright pink nail polish -- because, who can resist that tiny little nail polish brush? Realizing his infraction, he had also tried to clean it off with my shampoo, and was busy pumping the economy-sized bottle of shampoo onto the toilet seat and wiping it with a wad of toilet paper. 

How do I respond?

Moms: even when our children do something wrong, our words can honor them as people apart from their sin (“Sneakiness is not who you are; you are better than that. If you are curious about something, ask me - I love you and won’t withhold anything good from you.”) rather than identify them as their sin (“You are so foolish, what were you thinking?”).

So, as mothers, we ought to be filling our children’s hearts with the promises of God so what they think about themselves is consistent with what God thinks about them.  Our words will help shape their futures by shaping what they believe about themselves. 

What, then, is the summary of a mother's responsibility to pray for her child? Read the Word; Pray the Word; Speak the Word.

Example Prayer for Your Child’s Love for the Bible

Dear LORD, thank you for the heritage and reward You gave me when You gave me my child (Psalm 127:3). You created my child’s inmost being, knitting him together in my womb; he is fearfully and wonderfully made because all of Your works are wonderful (Psalm 139:13-14). My child still has so much to learn, but You, LORD, will teach him and give him great peace (Isaiah 54:13). Place truth in his inward parts (Psalm 51:6). Help him to fall in love with your Word and hide it in his heart so he will not sin against you (Psalm 119:11).  Keep him on a path of purity by living according to Your Word (Psalm 119:9). Cause him to delight in the law of the LORD and meditate on it day and night (Psalm 1:1-3). Even in his youth, may he set an example for other believers in speech, conduct, love, faith and purity, so that no one can look down on him (1 Timothy 4:12). In Jesus’ name, amen.